The Things Customers Say.....

A new list of things that customers have actually said that has either amused us or pissed us off.
All of these are:

Legend:
Customers
Waiter

 "This carrot soup tastes like blended carrots mush" (What did you expect? Potato? Cucumbers?)

"I bought your mooncake and I don't really like it."

"Did you try a sample before buying?"

"No."

"I would like a black coffee with warm milk at the side" - (I'm gonna charge you for a Flat White. You cheapskate.)

 "I'd like a decaf Americano"

"A Mocha with low fat milk"

"What dish/drink does your chef/barista/bartender make best?" - (If we can't make more than 1 dish/drink well, we would have been fired)

"Do you do anything for birthdays here?" - (Thankfully, most places in Singapore doesn't do such stuff, or I had the stroke of luck that my workplaces never do this)


(About a French Vietnamese cuisine restaurant) - "So is it a fusion or is the restaurant just confused?"

"Affogato means 'drowning' in Italian. I wonder if they meant the ice cream's drowning in the coffee or the coffee is drowning in the ice cream" 


(At a cocktail bar) - "You all don't serve mocktails? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard"

"Why does your dishes look different from the pictures in the menu?" - (You think we are robots?)

(Pointing to an obviously enlarged sized picture in the menu) - "Why is the size of my waffle smaller as compared to this?

"Your mushroom soup don't taste like the real stuff. It's different from the Campbell Cream of Mushroom."

"The garlic taste is too strong." - (SIR/MDM, YOU ORDERED A GARLIC FLAVOURED CHIPS.)

"I want a black tea."

"Ok Sir, We have a few black tea, which one do you want?"

"I just want a black tea."

"We have English Breakfast, Earl Grey or Ceylon. Which would you like to have?"

"A black tea."

"I want a whisky."

"Okay, we have 80 different kinds of whisky, which would you like"

"I don't care, I'm Indian and I want whisky"

"Can I have pineapple juice with a little bit of milk" (what?)

(Same pineapple juice with milk customer) "Why are all your colleagues looking at me and laughing?"
"Oh no no, they just heard a joke that's all. Not laughing at you." (Complete BS, we were laughing at her)


(when the place is running full house) "We've been waiting for 15mins!"

"Can I get some water?"

"Water is self service, it's over there"

"Do you have service charge?"

"Yes."

"Then YOU get me some water" (If you don't see what's wrong with this picture, please don't eat out and spare us the agony)

"I'm having a flu/stomach ache/headache/hangover what's the best thing for me to order?"(A visit to the doctor or a bed rest.)

(Semi-Regular customer) -"Did you see my friend where is my friend?"
"She left already."
"What?! What time?!"
"Maybe half an hour ago?"
"How could she leave? I was only an hour late!"

 (On a side note, the both of us hate tardiness. We are major impatient people)



(when any plate/cup drops and breaks at the customer's table) - "It dropped on it's own!"
OR "It broke on it's own!"
(By the way, I hope you all know that if you break anything you are expected to pay. A customer has argued with me about paying. Where did you get the notion that it's okay to break our dishes?)

(When the place is obviously full house)
"A table for 2"
"Do you have any reservations"
"No."

"I'm sorry, as you can see we're full"

"How about that table? It's empty" - gesturing to a table with a RESERVED sign on it

"I'm sorry it's reserved."

"We'll be quick."
"Sorry. No." - I'm going to defend myself here by saying that I have let people take reserved tables before when the reservation party wasn't here yet. Most of the time, you all will take so long to clear off the table that our reservation party has to wait. Once, we got yelled at by the reservation party.
"I called today and you said no reservations!"
"We're fully booked by Tuesdays or Wednesdays. So you have to call earlier"
"Yeah whatever"

(I'm a real strong believer of reservations. When you make a reservation it tells me that "Hey, I'm having a night out and I plan to have it at your restaurant/bar/cafe".  It means you checked us out and you have an idea of what you're getting into. Instantly, the I will feel more obliged to give you better service, cause I wouldn't want to let you down. Since you put in some effort, I should too. When you do a walk-in, it kind of says "I walked past and it looked nice". Doesn't sound as sincere, does it?)



--End--

Whether it irritates me or it makes me laugh, I love talking to customers, especially when it's about food. So when your server seems nice, talk to them! If they're like me, we're gonna be good friends. :)