This seems the logical post to have after "Biggest Pet Peeve". How to make the restaurant staff like you whilst you get the best and most special dining experience.
- Check a place before patronizing it. Most places have websites with their menu on it. If you can't find something you like, don't go. And don't expect huge portions at a Tapas Bar or Hamburgers and Fries at an Italian Restaurant. (C'mon people, common sense.)
- Make reservations. This ensures that you definitely have a nice table and not beside the toilet or kitchen door. If you are planning a nice night out to chill out with friends, make reservations, so you don't walk in and be disappointed.
- Be polite. They are waiters, not your slaves. Smile and greet them. Don't demand for things. Be nice to the staff. The friendlier they are with you, the more special treatment you'll get. (Unless the wait staff are rude and look like they completely couldn't be bothered)
- If you're stuck for choice, ask the waiter for a recommendation. HOWEVER, look through the menu BEFORE asking for a recommendation, it's frustrating when you ask us and you haven't looked through the menu. Check food websites for other people's favourite dishes.
- Don't order what's familiar. Example, don't go to an Italian restaurant and order Aglio Olio or go to a cocktail bar and order Margaritas. These are things the general public can make themselves at home for a cheaper price. Have no idea what Osso Bucco is but sounds good? Ask the staff! Just try something special to the place.
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| In case you're wondering, Osso Bucco means "bone with a hole". I had this Lamb Osso Bucco on my birthday. |
- There is only one certain hand signal; the bill. When you scribble in the air, we will immediately assume you mean bill(AND NOT TAKE ORDER/PEN). Menu can be gestured as a book (where you put your palms side by side, opening and closing it/or sometimes drawing a rectangle in the air). That's it. If you want to order or ANYTHING ELSE, just raise your hand and call for a waiter. Don't try flailing your hand in the air as if you're trying to contact the extra terrestrial. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
- Don't sniff the cork, you noob. When the waiter hands you the cork after opening it, you're supposed to check if the cork's damaged, especially if it's an old wine as the cork may start to flake and crumble into the wine whilst it was being opened.
- Don't say "I know the boss" unless you really are friends with the boss. (not those I added him on Facebook, we never met kind. Actual CLOSE friends.) I've seen people say "I know your boss! Where is he?" when my boss is right beside me and my boss won't bother to acknowledge. When you walk away, we will snigger and mock you. If the boss is your friend, give him/her a call before coming. If you're genuine, we'll treat you a little more special. Just a tiny bit more.
- When you ask for the bill and we present it, PAY IT ASAP. Don't just leave it lying on the table. Unless you intend to free load. Do you intend to? If so, see you in jail. (We don't have people washing the plates and cups as payment any more. We rather see your cheap ass in prison.)If not, pay it. We hate standing by your table and rushing you, so help ALL OF US out and just pay. If there's no service charge but you enjoyed yourself, leave a tip. Doesn't have to be 15% or more. We're in Singapore, every cent counts. ;)
- Be a regular customer of the establishment. Be a nice/polite regular
customer. You're assured of being treated like royalty if you are. You're not getting any special service if you're an irritating regular customer.
- Dress properly, more and more establishments in Singapore have dress codes now. Don't go into a restaurant with shorts and slippers. Speaks volumes about you. (I've heard a customer say he didn't bring any pants out as this was a holiday. WHAT?)
- NEVER FORGET TO: Enjoy yourself. Be nice and don't do anything that will piss off the staff. (Remember, we have sharp knives and tools that can cut through bone. I'm sure there are some of us out there who are waiting for a chance to use 'em)
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| Leaving you with this cute comic, which also serves as a point |
We at The Talking Menu will love to see you awesome customers around!
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